What makes a letter better

After writing lots of letters and receiving several in return, I think one reason that "real" letters are so appealing has to do with the connection that the letter provides between the sender and the receiver. I want to use words like "intimate" and "sensual" or "sensuous," but I don't want to imply a romantic feeling, just a sense of closeness.

When you receive a personal letter in the mailbox, you know that the sender thought about you enough to put her (or his) thoughts on paper and mail them to you. You know that the sender held the paper in her hands, that she held the pen, that she sat somewhere in the world and thought about what to write to you. She found (or remembered) your address and wrote it on the envelope. She found (or bought) a stamp and affixed it to the corner of the envelope. She so wanted that letter to get to you that she went to a mailbox and deposited the letter in it, and then she went home and awaited your reply.

If it is a romantic letter, maybe she spritzed the paper with a little bit of her perfume or even put a big lipstick kiss at the end, or more subtly added a couple of X's and O's to send you kisses and hugs.

If it's from someone you know very well, you can imagine her voice, as you read her words. You know when she was smiling as she wrote and when she was angry or sad. You remember the memories she's writing about and it makes you think of more good times you shared in the past. The letter may make you wish to see her soon or to pick up pen and paper and write back as quickly as you can.

Oh, sure, phone calls, e-mails and text messages are great for immediate conversations, but they lack the warmth of a hand-written or -typed letter. Yes, even a hand-typed letter says something personal. Over time, you come to recognize a person's typewriter's characteristics, and you know that even a typed letter is put into an envelope, just the same.

I can't remember how many times I've read about how important it is to be careful with e-mails, how an innocent comment in an e-mail can be misinterpreted. That's what they invented the "smilies" for...indicating the emotion that an e-mail can't convey.

Somehow, a hand-written letter manages to convey those feelings. Maybe the letter writer spends more time crafting a phrase than does the e-mailer. Maybe it's the handwriting itself, maybe you can see the happiness in the softness of the letter or the anger in the harsh slant of others.

I know we're all busy people in this day and age. It seems like there's never enough time to get it all done. But, just try it. Find some paper and a pen. Write a letter and mail it. You'll make at least two people happy...you and the receiver of your letter.